07/17/2010 In Humor, Thriftin'

My car hasn’t started in two weeks, which isn’t a bad thing actually. I’ve been forced to ride my bike everywhere, even to the grocery store. On my way back from one such trip today I caught a sign that promised wine tasting and a car show. I hit up some friends, only two of which were down to go and we made plans to get pizza in Grover Beach and then sip wine and look at rides. However, as soon as we made it to Grover, I was feelin’ some thrift store action instead. Adam and Crystal weren’t hard to convince and we made our way down to a couple of my usual stops. Here’s what I found:

RIP imation

This is some unfortunate marketing for Imation’s floppy disks. Labeled the “Rewards @ Imation Program,” this is a two-dollar box of outdated fail.

Rabobank Bandana

“EVERYBODY DOWN, THIS IS A STICK UP!”

“Ummmm, excuse me, sir with the gun. It seems like you forgot something to cover your face. Would you like a complimentary Rabobank bandana? It’ll conceal your identity plus it comes in crip colors!”

No joke while I was studying journalism at Cal Poly this chain of banks was robbed like three times. They’re just asking for it at this point.

Mouth Pacific

The most un-sexy embrace ever caught on camera was put on the album cover for Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “South Pacific” soundtrack. Honestly, look at dude. He’s got a death-grip on her curls, his mouth is wide open, lower lip hanging loose like the tongue of an untied pair of converse and his brow is furled like he’s worried or confused about why he’s doing this. He looks like he just tried to take a sip of his daiquiri and the straw slipped away from him.

Where Is Cowtown and How Do I Avoid It?

Even though this is hilarious, I didn’t see the need to buy it. I already know what it sounds like. Plus, I already own a Cock Robin cassette. Any more male-genitalia-related tapes in my collection and I think a lot more would come under question than my manhood.

Soon To Be Seen on peopleofwalmart.com

Genuine degradation in every bottle. Whoever’s behind this shirt thought they were so clever. I mean, honestly, it’s one big pun with only one glaring grammatical error. Evidently the King of Rears “want’s your bush.” I’m not sure what they were going for there. What is “want’s” a contraction for? Want is? Or is it the possessive form of “want”?

Don’t F With John McCutcheon

“Okay John, we here at the label love the new album title. “Barefoot Boy With Boots On” makes no god damn sense. What we need is an equally confusing album cover to go along with it. The marketing team’s been brainstorming for three hours on this. They think you should be in a snowy meadow nursing a lamb.”

“Make it a grassy field and a kitten and you’ve got yourself a photo shoot.”

Peekin’

Thumbing through some records at one of the shops I passed up a sealed copy of Rick James’ “Bustin’ Out Of L Seven” for Roberta Flack’s “First Take” and an album by “Brass Construction.” The latter was a great find. From the start it launches into some dance-beat happy funk complete with round after round of synth and brass solos. Track two caught my attention right away. Listen for yourself. The song is called “Peekin”:

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